The Dream
I was in the middle of nowhere, all I could identify were gigantic trees, roses all dried with thrones and a creek with no water. I couldn't see any source of food, or even water. There's a path leading to the dried creek. The only thing I had was hope. I was terrified, I wanted to scream for help, but no voice came out. I felt so weak, dragging myself to a tree, I sat down. I was starving to death. I heard a sound, then the locked clicked and my mom said “get up is time for school”.
Your story was great. But I think you should have put a period in this sentence-I was in the middle of nowhere. And then continued with your other sentences. But overall it was a great story.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story , although for my option i think instead of saying
ReplyDeleteand a creek with no water.
You can say
and what seemed like a dried up creek with no water
Good story, but when you wrote "There's a path leading to a dried creek," you should write there was a path leading to a dried creek because you can't use contractions in formal writing.
ReplyDelete